You've been warned about their food, right?

When I told people I was going to England, the conversation always turned to their cuisine, or lack thereof. Bangers and mash, fish and chips, steak and kidney pies. These are not the names of great culinary feats. In fact, they hardly sound like food at all.

This may come as a surprise to you, but I love food. LOVE IT. The line between food and sex in my mind is about as clearly defined as my abs. As it so happens, I'm quite a good Cook myself (did you catch the pun in there?) I've been wowing my flat mates with my cooking skills, whipping up curries and teriyaki stir-fries and portobello mushrooms marinated in wine and garlic, served on a toasted bun with mozzarella and prosciutto and a red wine reduction.

You know. Simple things.

But there is this one thing that my flat mates make that seems like a strange mish-mash of foodstuffs to my American sensibilities. And yet it is strangely alluring.

Baked potato, sausage, can of beans, cheese, done. That's not a ghost guitar in the background, it's my flat mate Jim. Not all places of higher learning in England are haunted (as much as we may want them to be....)

So you fry up some sausages. These are sweet chili pepper ones from the student food store on campus. They looked amazing in real life, but I couldn't get a good picture without the flash. I wish I had Ina Garten's photographer. I wish I was Ina Garten. (Though honestly, who doesn't?)

You bake a potato in your microwave that doubles as a convection oven. My flat mate G made banana bread in here last Sunday. It was quite good (or as my flat mate Hannah might say, "well good.")

Everyone in England, without fail, eats these beans. I don't believe we have them in the States. I would have definitely noticed that turquoise can. And if we do, I've never seen anyone eat them (much like how the Spam industry survives on hipsters giving cans to each other to be "ironic.") Why is that? Is Heinz a British company? Our almost First Lady was the heiress to the Heinz throne, one would think it was an American company. Or perhaps that's why she didn't win? The British sabotaged the 2004 General Election because Theresa Heinz-Kerry was going to steal their baked beans.

Yes. I'd like to believe that.

The only cheese available anywhere in England seems to be cheddar. I went to one of the local grocery stores, Morrison's. I was looking to get some gruyere or maybe some parmesan. But no. They had cheddar. Granted, they had every type of cheddar known to man, but one would think that the British would have developed a taste for something grander in their sesquicentennial of ruling the planet.

Oh mama. Jim told me to butter and salt the potatoes before I put on the beans. This sounded a little excessive. I was of course on board with it. And besides who am I to question an Englishman on his native cuisine?

Those English. They may not know how to do unholy things to an egg like the French do, but man do they know their potatoes. My flat mate Jim said that if he hadn't just eaten, he would have gone and fixed himself some as well.

Pregnant women and those with heart conditions may want to look away from the next photo.

Mmmm. English food is delicious. It may not be as pretty as French food, or as vibrant as Italian food, or as mindshatteringly delicious as Mexican, but it has an earthy, rustic quality that you don't find elsewhere. There's a spontaneity to it. They lived on an island for centuries and didn't have access to fresh herbs or tomatoes (the poor sods) and they worked with what they had and created a style of food that is all their own. It's comfort food to the max. Because heaven knows you need comfort when you've forgotten what color the sun is and the streets run red with the blood of the King's latest bride.

And boy do they know how to use a can of beans. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find some dessert.